“Adding Back the Romance After Prescribed Sex” | myMindBodyBaby
I can laugh about it now, but at the time “prescribed sex” was not really very funny. Although I’m sure to some that sounds like a desirable prescription! To me it really felt like it was taking any remaining romance out of sex at that point.
“Do one sex and call me in the morning…”
So what was this prescribed sex all about you ask? Believe it or not, while you are going through early stage infertility investigation and treatment they will actually prescribe sex. This will happen when you are having your cycle monitored at a fertility clinic and they note, based on blood work and internal ultrasounds, you are about to ovulate. You get a nice little message on your phone: “Good afternoon Lyndsey. This is Nurse So-and-So from the fertility clinic. Your blood work combined with your ultrasound from this morning indicate you are about to ovulate. We recommended intercourse this evening.” Awwkaward. Not the type of message you want to listen to by accident on speakerphone!
Critical window of opportunity
Joking aside, what starts out as a romantic act can really have the romance completely zapped out of it. No more being able to get intimate when the mood strikes. No, no – around ovulation time you have to be very particular about intercourse. Too early? You miss the window and “waste” sperm. Too late? Same. Men are also advised the specific number of times they should be ejaculating per week to keep sperm “fresh”.
All of this can really be a strain on your relationship. And we are only talking about early stage fertility treatment. When you get into some of the later stage procedures stress levels can really amp up. Now it’s not just another month that has gone by without success. It can be a lot of money invested as well.
Adding Back the Romance
- Be honest about how you’re feeling. Try not to bottle up your frustrations. Tell your partner how you’re feeling and be open when they need to talk too. Sometimes we are quick to snap about something trivial when we have bigger things on our mind, and snapping will only make things harder.
- Find time to spend together. Look for a non prescribed baby-making activity you can do. Go for an after dinner walk or make a romantic dinner together. Want to up the fun romance? Check out our Heart-Inspired (Fertility Friendly!) menu at the end of this post and consider pairing this with a beautiful glass of wine. You deserve it.
- Think of the little things. Remember the cute little things you used to do when you were first together in your relationship? Maybe hearts in shower steam on the mirror? Cute little text messages? Try to bring back some of your old little love tricks.
- Consider a counselor. Infertility is rough. Let’s be honest, even the strongest couples can use help, or at least an outlet, now and again. Even though seeing a counselor might not be sexy or exactly the quality time you had imagined, often being able to share in a safe place, with someone who is able to help navigate a productive conversation might just be what you two need. A good place to start? Talk to your fertility clinic about getting some help, most have a therapist or psychologist on staff.
After all of those tips, if you’re up for a little heart themed dinner this Valentine’s Day, give this recipe a go!
Why We Love It – A little note from Michelle, your resident Nutritionist
First off, who doesn’t like a patty?
Secondly, these bad boys are quick, convenient and will satisfy any kid (husband included). The frozen organic broccoli is a no-brainer for any busy household and oats are a mainstay in most I would imagine.
But what I really like about them is the flexibility. Don’t have parm, no problem, just omit. Red onion instead of spring onions will work perfectly. Only paprika in the house? As easy switch for turmeric – although I do advise getting a hold of this uber anti-inflammatory spice.
Simple. It’s LOADED with inflammation fighting compounds that are a big deal for anyone and everyone. Inflammation can be acute (short term) or chronic (long term) – it’s the long term inflammation that I am most concerned about and interested in putting an end to.
The part of the turmeric plant you really need to know about is its compound called curcumin. This is the main active ingredient in turmeric and it packs a powerful punch against inflammation.
Inflammation is considered an immune response- sending our body into a fight or flight state, and over the long term, can be quite damaging to the body. Not to mention, for those trying to conceive, “inflammation can affect ovulation and hormone production as well as be associated with endometriosis.”
This is a big deal.
So don’t be shy with this spice – add it into smoothies, salad dressings, stir-fries and slow cooker stews. For added absorption, pair with black pepper.
Baked Broccoli Patties
- 6 cups frozen organic broccoli
- 1/2 cup gluten free bread crumbs OR raw rolled oats OR cooked quinoa
- 2 eggs lightly beaten
- 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese optional
- 3 spring onions diced
- 1/4 cup fresh basil chopped
- 1/2 tsp tumeric powder
- 1/2 tsp garlic powder
- 1/8 tsp sea salt & pepper to taste
- 1. Preheat oven to 400 F.2. Thaw broccoli and chop into small pieces.3. Add all ingredients into a large bowl and combine well.4. Form the mixture into 10 patties - can use a heart shaped cookie cutter for shaped patties if you wish!6. Transfer patties to parchment lined baking sheet.7. Bake in the preheated oven for 15 minutes.8. Flip and bake for another 10 minutes.
These babies can be used in a variety of ways
- As a quick grab-and-go snack (they taste good cold, too!) paired with a piece of fruit or nuts
- Topped with eggs for a nutritious breakfast
- Broken up and topped over a green salad for a little extra somethin’ somethin’
- Chop into bite sized cubes for your little ones
- Top with half a fresh avocado
To complement your heart-inspired meal, start with a light spinach salad
tossed with olive oil, salt and pepper and some dried cherries. Serve your
main course with some red quinoa (see the lovey-dovey theme here?) and pair with your heart shaped Broccoli Patties, a grilled steak and a nice glass of antioxidant-rich red wine. For dessert? Nutritionist approved dark chocolate!. Bon appetite!
Want to add back even more romance? Print out our pinnable menu card – and don’t forget to snap a pic and tag us @mymindbodybaby!